Within first year of my marriage , I had to undergo abortion. It was followed by the feelings of sadness, pain (more of sentimental), loss and regret. A loving bond with my unborn child that had started nurturing , had to breakdown within few weeks . Today I express my emotions in this letter to my Unborn Child.
A Letter to my Unborn Child
I held you inside me for few weeks ,but didn’t get a chance to hold you in my arms. I felt your heartbeat inside me , but couldn’t welcome you in the world outside.
God didn’t give us a chance to cuddle with each other , but the memories of your little movements inside my tummy are afresh in my mind. Your little kicks didn’t hurt me but used to bring smile on my face.
We were growing our emotional bond when God suddenly changed his plans. We were not allowed to continue our love for long but the bond we made even in those few weeks , is precious for me , and it always would be.
When Doctor laid me on hospital bed , a long instrument was used to dislodge you from me . I know that the pain you felt must have been much much more than me.
But my dear Baby , I was helpless. I felt paralyzed to save you. My helplessness flowed in the form of tears. I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you Baby ! I still don’t know whether you were a girl or a boy but I loved you so much my dear !
Letter to my daughter written on the eve of International women’s day
Even today , after so many years , occasionally I am reminded of that attachment & love which then sneaks out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks, sometimes wets my writing papers. I do wipe away that liquid love but it feels impossible to ever be able to wipe away the love I had with you, as you were my first child, although Unborn Child.
This post is written as a part of #chatterprompts by Blogchatter
Linking to #quotedstories
Don’t feel sad Monika.I am sure God had a plan so that your baby could be born stronger.No life is ever lost.The energy remains and is reborn.
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I am so sorry for your loss and I can understand your emotions and pain…it is disheartening and I know that child loss is not just a loss, it is an indescribable journey of survival. time is the only thing that heals wounds and a broken heart.
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Yes u r right time is a great healer,Thanx
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Gods plans are something we can only bow down to; many peeps say that feel blessed for He felt you were the right person for delivering this soul to him! Hugs to you Monika
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Yes lets be happy in whatever circumstances God wants us to be in
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It’s sad for a Mother to go through this but I m sure God had something good in store. They gave you a beautiful and strong daughter. Thanks for linking up with #QuotedStories Monika.
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Yes He gifted me a sweet daughter who is my lifeline now. Thanx Upasna
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It is such a difficult thing to bare your heart like this. More power and strength to you Monika.
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Thanku so much , really those memories bring tears
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